HUMP DAY GRAB BAG: Alternative Alternatives

August 25, 2010

By Max

NOT TO BE A HUGE JERK, but there’s This Pop Singer Who Is Really Famous Right Now and kind of bumming me out. I don’t want to shit-talk cause it’s a total waste of time, but it’s gotten to the point in my life where when people mention how much they love this singer, I feel deep pangs of personal guilt, because it means that the person I’m talking to and I are fundamentally disagreeing on some things. It’s like how in the early 00s (‘member?) sometimes you’d be at a soccer game or the supermarket or a PTA meeting and someone would say nonchalantly that they had voted for Bush, and it would just send up a red flag? It feels like that.

The thing that bugs me about This Pop Singer Who Is Really Famous Right Now is that she purports to be something of a Performance Artist. Now, I’m not going to say that Pop Music and Performance Art are mutually exclusive, but I will say that the kind of Pop Music this singer is making is absolutely antithetical to the goals of performance art. According not only to my, but in fact anybody’s definition of performance art. Performance Art necessarily means something that is expressed / transmitted via (you guessed it!) PERFORMANCE. This Singer’s work is almost always mediated through studio magick, the radio, MTV, YouTube, Fashion Photography, Twitter, etc. It’s deliberately a kind of Art that doesn’t need to be performed live, since it’s readily accessible. Just saying. So when I am getting bugged out about this I figure I can either rage against the dying of the light (incorrect use whatever) or I can offer some alternative to This Pop Singer Who Is Really Famous Right Now. So let’s do that.


Maybe you already know about her. The thing with This Pop Singer Who Is Really Famous Right Now is that she often claims that the biggest misconception about her is that she’s fake, that she’s artificial, and she wants you to know that she is Always Glamorous, Always In Drag, and very Real. OK I’ll bite: BULLSHIT. This video for the title track from Murphy’s second solo album Overpowered plays with a similar idea, in a much more interesting way (I think). The premise of the video is that Murphy’s stage persona never comes off, that she wears her ultra-bizarre high fashion outfit (Courtesy of Gareth Pugh– Murphy was wearing Pugh long before Kylie, Rihanna, BeyoncĂ©, and the Pop Singer In Question) in cafes, on the bus, etc. as a way of juxtaposing the artificial with the real. It makes an interesting comment on the nature of celebrity culture and beauty. Oh also, this came out in 2007.


HAD TO GO THERE. The thing about Kylie Minogue is that she’s world-famous everywhere except for the USA. In most of Europe, she’s more famous than Madonna. Madonna has, for those Europhiles (and American Fags) who have been keeping track, been ripping off Kylie for decades. SO while This Pop Singer Nowadays rips off Madonna, she’s actually not even citing the Minogue sources. The almost-Goth, sort of vaguely “dark” aesthetic that This Pop Singer employs was much better used, again in 2007, by Kylie in the video for “2 Hearts”. Other than the fact that this song and video are excellent, the fact that the shiny skull is a reference to Alexander McQueen, the skull itself was actually a symbol of triumph. When this video came out, it was the lead single from Kylie’s “comeback” album X. Comeback, I mean, from breast cancer. Kylie has an authentic right to glamorize the macabre because unlike the Pop Singer Nowadays, who’s whole shtick is utterly devoid of anything involving “the real world” or “obscurity”, when Kylie released this video, singing into a skull microphone, she has just beaten Death. Top that.


It’s no secret that I love Grace Jones. I listen her every single day and she is a totally guiding force in my life. It is with no small amount of disappointment that I continually see This Pop Singer referencing her work. Grace Jones’ eccentricity is best exemplified by the video above (total. personal. anthem.) Unlike the current Pop Singer, who equates randomness and embellishment with intellectual weight, this video shows Grace in what appears to be her natural habitat, running from Keith Haring’s studio to the wardrobe closet to the chiropractor. The message here is that even with this totally unsustainable, unreal level of glamour, she is able to look directly to the camera and sing a love song. The layers of artifice serve to create a distance which the song’s message ostensibly crosses, rather than simply mask the singer’s face. Grace wants you to know that you and her are meant to be.


Look, one of the things that I don’t understand about This Pop Singer, is how she simultaneously seems to be singing about her “feelings” while denying any trace of actual human emotion. She is bloodless. Does pop music have to be this way? Not if Robyn has anything to say about it. The marriage of a human heart and a dance beat may sound strange on paper, but with Robyn it makes perfect sense.


Thought it’d be nice to have a non-girl, non-superstar in the mix. Toronto’s Diamond Rings proves that you can do really cool interesting pop music without a multimillion dollar budget. Look, even Kathleen Hanna is a fan. That ought to be enough. This video is really cool and proves that really, real people can and do succeed at aspiring to glamour and art. Who needs a custom haute couture outfit? Just put a sexy kid in a Karl Lagerfeld t-shirt. Signify, baby. This is what postmodernism ACTUALLY looks like.

So whatever. These are some things you can listen to and watch instead. Check them out.

Stay dry, America. Stay motherfucking dry.



January 11, 2010

by Max

I first met Gerry Visco at QxBxRx, NYC’s infamous queer punk dance party, where she showed up with out mutual friend Joseph Keckler. Joseph told me that she was there to cover the evening for NY Press. I was go-go dancing that night, and was immediately charmed by the platinum blond bombshell that was scurrying around the dance floor, alternately shaking her booty and snapping photos. She definitely seemed to be on the wrong side of the camera. I was immediately charmed. Over the last few months, I’ve been lucky enough to catch some of Gerry’s performances, and have been keeping up with her written output. I am so thrilled that a real life Style Icon such as Gerry Visco sat down to answer some of my questions. Let’s get to it!

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Really Jezebel?

April 16, 2009

By Laurenesss
What’s wrong with this picture?
First, notice the post at the top of the screen-cap titled “Is The History Of Women A History Of Hate?” Then, look just below it at the sponsored ad for the book “Why He Didn’t Call You Back.”

Here’s an excerpt from this gem of an advice book published by the same author who also wrote “Find a Husband After 35 Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School.”

“It’s the riddle of the Sphinx: “Why didn’t he call me back?” You have a great date with a promising guy. You think it went well and expect to see him again…but then poof! He vanishes inexplicably.”

I’m going to save you the time of reading through the 1st chapter by summarizing it all too briefly below:


I know advertising isn’t as easy to come by in this recession, but really Jezebel? Are you that desperate?

The 50 day moving flavel index at all time blerk

March 23, 2009

by Tatyana

I was talking to a friend a few weekends about the Jon Stewart-Jim Cramer smackdown, and while I had not at that point actually seen it, what my buddy said really resonated. It was something along the lines of, isn’t it strange that satirists like Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert and even certain segments of The Onion are the only media outlets/figures that seems to be addressing some version of the truth?

Obviously, ye olde satire as cultural commentary is nothing new, but doesn’t this recent revelation and the fall out on both sides of the Stewart-Cramer debate say something about the place of media and punditry?

Criticism in favor of Cramer assigns Stewart the position of a schoolyard bully, claiming that he used his fairly benign position of cable news comedian to alight his soap box and preach to the choir. But would these critics be saying the same thing if Cramer was able to engage in debate with Stewart and was anything besides guilty and downtrodden? Cramer’s appearance on the Daily Show was an embarrassment to CNBC, one that I’ve seen repeated ad nauseam with various liberal pundits on an array of Fox News programs.

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