Random, Angry and Absurd: The Best of Craigslist’s Rants and Raves

May 6, 2009

Hunted and Gathered by Jess Paps

Latest Face Transplant Revealed!

Reply to: pers-rjnqk-1157485624@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-05-06, 1:11PM EDT

Unfortunately, it was a total failure.


women weight age

Reply to: pers-snbts-1157787860@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-05-06, 3:52PM EDT

you can have high numbers in one or the other
if a woman is over 150 lbs, she should be under 25 years
if she is over 25 years, she should be less than 150lbs

hmmmn. idontgetit

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Cream of the Creep: The Best of Craigslist

April 8, 2009

by Jess Paps


Random Girl that Peed While I was Showering: Thanks for not doing a 2 – m4w

Reply to: pers-4vdfa-1108704792@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-04-05, 7:56PM EDT

Time: 9:30 Friday Morning
Me: Brown hair, blue eyes tall and athletic
You: Straight brown hair, green around the gills, pretty hot if you weren’t that hung over

I was taking my morning shower getting ready for work and I thought I heard the door creak open. I ignored it because I didn’t think anyone was home. A few seconds later I hear someone un-zip and pop a squat. I peaked around the shower curtain and caught you peeing in my bathroom. With no easy access to a towel and having only been up for 3 minutes I just pretended that you weren’t there much like you probably didn’t notice that the shower was on and running.

I heard my front door creak closed and wondered how you got in since it was locked… I had a few things meander through my mind so in case you were wondering here are my top 10:

1. Who the fuck are you?
2. How did you get into my apartment?
3. Thank you for not flushing
4. Thank you for not dropping a 2
5. Thank you for not stealing my mail or computer
6. Did you want to stay for breakfast?
7. Will you be dropping by again? I’ll make sure to leave the bathroom open from 9-10
8. Are you ok?
9. Did you realize there was someone in the bathroom?
10. Sorry it was such a mess, I’ve since cleaned it so the next time you drop by there is a fresh batch of potpourri.
Thanks for the story.

Oh, Narrows Animal Hospital Girl… – m4w – 27 (Bay Ridge)

Reply to: pers-8xy3n-1105857589@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-04-03, 5:38PM EDT

You are the receptionist. A beautiful, petite, delicious Latina… Oh your tight, tiny little body (errr). Is it that cute stone on your nose? Is it your smooth dark skin? Is it the pin straight hair?

No, you have what every man wants – the body of a high school girl (!) and the maturity and experience of someone twice that age.

Does anyone know the girl to which I refer? Thoughts? By the way, not a stalker, just reflecting on a positive experience….

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