Hump Day DANG Bag: Going Home is Never Easy

we’re blogging pantless

like NFL’s Chris Cooley:

what the fuck was he thinking?

by the way, this is my assistant

We must get high first.zzzz0000000o000O0000OOOm zoom

That’s better.

*dont even get me started on how much porn comes up for an image search on "psychotherapist"

I had a brilliant (overstatement) therapist who I like to call Que Fea (I say had because apparently full time social workers aren’t entitled adequate health insurance plans that provide them with their own mental health care! LOVE U and UR VALUES AMERICA!) One Tuesday before my usual exit line of “C  U Next Tuesday [QUE FEA]“  I was crying into a hanky about an impending trip home to visit the parents and she looked at me and she said: “Going home is never easy.”   Damn Que Fea, truer words have never been spoken.

These thoughts, and more, come with me on my trip to Sunny Florida to see my children parents.

the boner of america

Let’s just say my vacation looked a little like this:

and a little like this:

Good Things about Going Home:

1. Visiting with Dollies

2. Late Night TV

3. Hanukkah Presents:

a cozy slash "sexy" nightgown from Mom?

4. Eating Bricks of Brie Unapologetically

BAD THINGS ABOUT GOING HOME

i know... it's a cat. right?

1. FAMILY JUDGEMENT

Que Fea told me once, in what may have been her most shining moment: “You are a rorschach- for each and every person that looks at you…Through their own eyes, on you they see their anxieties and wishes.”

.

2. Parents Getting Crazier vs. Me Getting Smarter

yup.

Dad – Is… Making Bracelets! nope, not sellin em. just makin em. out of hemp. on his couch. while he watches TV.  No, he’s not in rehab. Probably should be…

Mom - Wakes me up, angry, in the middle of the night, with a conspiracy theory that my Brother left the house to BUY DRUGS! ‘Yeaaa, if drugs start with a B and rhyme with GLOWJOB.

Sidenote#peopleyoubabysatselldrugsnow.com

WHEN DO HIPPIE SOULS DIE? WHERE DID THEY GO, MA? WHEN DID THEY RETIRE?

going home is never easy. and yet, it could always be worse…

FIRE IN THE HOLE – jesspaps